Teenage is a dangerous stage in the human age, yet Islam has come with a number of morals that protect from its spoils and evils.
In this article, we will be introducing a story from a mother that narrates her story with her teenage boy. This story will spot the light on many issues that face lots of parents with their children at this dangerous age.
In the end, the answer will be concluded according to the Islamic virtues and morals. In which we will be learning the right ways to deal with the youth in this dangerous stage of age
I send you my question and my complaint, and I ask you to give me an extended answer: –
I am a married woman, God gave me one son, who is now fourteen years old, and I have 4 daughters. My husband is in prison due to debt and may spend years before he gets out. My problem is with my son who has started to disobey me and started making friendships with bad companions. Due to the absence of his father: we were forced unanimously-by his father and uncles – to give him a phone; because his school was far away; and because when he comes down to pray, he is always late home, and ask him to come back home. Also, so that his uncles can check on him constantly
Then my son asked for a phone with a camera and Bluetooth, I refused and insisted. But his uncles gave him money to buy a cell phone with a camera. Since then, I’ve begun suffering. After a while I discovered bad clips on his phone, I spoke to his father and consulted some good people who gave advice about taking the phone away from him.
Some of them said that taking the phone away from their son will make the boy lose confidence in himself, which is wrong, so we gave him back his phone. My son has locked his phone with a lock. Then he began to evade prayers, lie in the simplest things until he became famous for lying among family members and our relatives.
As far as we seek to get closer to him, as far as he departs from us. His uncles were cooperating with me, but they live far away from us. They can’t keep an eye on him at all, yet his uncle always tells me: leave him and help him to trust in himself. I hope that you will guide me, guide me, and pray for me and my son that God will fix and guide him.
By following the Islamic techniques in raising children most of the teenager’s problems would haven’t exist.
How to prepare your child to be a good teenager
Teenage indicates the approach of puberty. This stage is a dangerous stage, and Islamic law has very wise provisions to prevent danger before it occurs:
- Raising kids on good morals and memorizing the Qur’an at an early age.
This would purify his heart, especially if he memorized the book of Allah before becoming a teenager. And there is no doubt that he will choose to go to mosques instead of bad places.
- Teaching children to start praying at the age of seven, and make sure he is doing it right at ten.
Muslims say in prayers what is in the Qur’an. Praying cleans the heart and actions of the young man by obeying Allah. And praying is easier if the kid performs prayer in the mosque with his father, brother, or uncle.
- Separate children rooms from age 10.
It is at this age, the penchant between both gender begins, and this provision will cut off the opportunities for friction that generate lust.
- Choose a good company.
If parents take good care of their children’s company and choose it well. It will save them great time and effort, for a good company will only lead to good acts, and a bad companion will lead him to evil.
- Encourage marriage.
Our Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him addressed them youth. So, addressing them youth has a clear indication that marriage will preserve their gaze from being released in Haram, and to preserve their vulgarity to be placed in Haram.
- A void time waster and fill their time with good skills and sports
Empty time means empty mind, therefore, whatever the circumstances are give them something useful to do.
What we mentioned earlier shows the extent of the parent’s tolerance for the condition of their child in the period of teenage, or puberty, and according to their negligence and lack of it. The Muslim may do his best to guide his child and the result is not satisfactory, and this is no sin on him since the guidance is in the hands of Allah Almighty.