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How to Raise Kids As Muslim Parents

Becoming parents is a blessing, but the challenge is how you become better parents. The digital world is making things tough for parents than it already has. Therefore, they are always on the edge of losing temper and hope. It doesn’t have to be that way if you are ready to do parenting in an Islamic way. I’m not saying parenting is easy, it is not! You will have a lot going on in your mind when a kid asks something, yet you have put on your supermom/superdad look to pretend that you know what they are asking.

Set the Ground Rules Clearly

In the information world, it is super easy for your children to consume information from outside the home. The Internet is more than enough to find anything your child wants.

But if you are stressing on this, you will not be able to enjoy parenting. Instead, you will treat parenting as a burden. If you don’t want to let this happen, you need to lay the basement correctly. You are your sons/daughters’ first teacher so you can shape them up successfully. You need to create a strong bond between your child and you. It is also vital to treat communication as the key to your parent-child relationship.

How does communication help Muslim parents? Your children might come across different people wearing different attires, and some they might find different from what their mothers and fathers wear. So the question of why arises, they might question why so and so is wearing a different dress. In this case, you must make it clear that it is not essential what others wear instead of its self-assessment that comes into play. You must teach your child to stop pointing fingers at others. This kind of behavior must be practiced, promoted, and praised. You can follow these 3Ps whenever you are implementing a new practice or habit.

However, not focusing on other’s business is not something that only Muslim children must be taught. Therefore, it applies to the general audience, as well.

The Roles of Parents

It is mesmerizing that there’s only one job in the world that lets you work without qualification. You can’t deny the job requirements regardless of your interests and expertise. Yes, I’m talking about parenting job. They have to do it no matter what. That’s the specialty and beauty in being parents. Allah (SWT) has placed separate duties for parents and kids, so as parents, you must understand and implement your commitments.

“Play with them for the first seven years (of their life); then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and after that).” – Prophet Mohammed (PBUH)

If you follow the Prophet’s advice, parenting will not become as tough as it is now. However, it is never too late to begin your Islamic parenting journey. The best thing about parents these days is that they are looking forward to becoming better. They are ready to seek knowledge, just like you!

You can focus on the best tip, i.e., leading by example. Your children see and follow you, so you are their mirror. If you live in a way that God loves, they will follow you. If you stop all your work and perform prayers on time, they will do the same. If you are respecting humankind and being kind to them, your children will not be any less. It is all in the way you behave.

A few things that you must do as parents:

  • Let them speak before you do-

If you don’t involve your children in an open-ended conversation, they will not be ready to share what they experience. For example, you must make it a habit to ask about their day once they get back from school. But you must not cross-question rather listen to them. You can react to the things he/she said but let the child finish talking.

Letting your child speak is crucial because it is easy to get misled in a world full of fitna. There is a high chance for them to gather fabricated Islamic knowledge. Hence, be the educator of your child.

  • Rules and guidelines-

We assume that a home should have less to no rules so that kids can enjoy life. This is not what Islam teaches; instead, it is all about how a home must be the place to create disciplined individuals. Thus, rules and guidelines must be maintained without fail. For example, it is inappropriate to let children feel that home is like a restaurant. You can eat lunch, dinner, or breakfast, anytime you want. This is not a recommended behavior for many reasons. If everyone eats together at a time, food waste can be controlled.

Also, it is easy to clean the kitchen while saving water. Likewise, there are a lot of benefits to this. But the best part is that children will learn to discipline themselves. They will respect the food that Allah has provided. You must set different rules and guidelines to raise kids successfully.  

  • Credit and respect yourself-

Most parents have the habit of mistreating themselves when something goes wrong in parenting. You must understand that you can’t control everything in this world because Allah is the controller of all things. Therefore, even if you are not a perfect parent or make mistakes, don’t mistreat yourself.

Learn to forgive and learn from the mistakes that happened. You will become better at parenting with time and knowledge. Thus, you must remain patient. For example, if you are unable to offer something that your kid asked or are unable to do something that involves him/her, you should remain calm. Once you are relaxed, you will be able to explain to your children the reason, and he/she will understand.

  • Build the bond-

Your children should consider you as their friend, but for that, you must build the bond. It is super easy for children to consume the wrong information in a digital world like this. Mainly, Islam receives so many controversies so that your children might be misled without you realizing it.

If you don’t want to let this happen, you must make sure to create a good bond. They should enjoy hanging out with you more than friends. Remember, kids always look for a way to make you proud so that you must be a support pillar to let it happen.

  • Strengthen the faith in Allah-

It is vital to center Allah in every relationship, so let your children understand that. As a family, you must build certain habits that make faith powerful. You can create the habit of thanking Allah for the food provided; to do this, it is essential to eat as a family. It is also necessary to pray together so that it not only becomes a chance to talk about Allah and strengthen Imaan (faith); instead, it becomes a way to spend some time together.

The Prophet said, “(It happens that) I start the prayer intending to prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I shorten the prayer because I know that the cries of the child will incite its mother’s passions.” (Al-Bukhari)

As you can see, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) has always treated kids as the priority, so should you! Your family and children are gifts of Allah (SWT), so being ungrateful to them means you are ungrateful to the Creator. Let the teachings of Islam reflect in your behavior and upbringing.

Shakira Shareef
Shakira is a freelance writer. She loves writing on lifestyle, freelancing, travel, self-help, business, and Islam. If not writing, she'd be cleaning or reading. Yes, zero human interaction –she's pretty boring!